you wish..

i think you already knew how tough it's going to be.. or maybe not, maybe you couldn't even imagine how it would be like.. you didn't even dare to talk about it because you didn't want it to start earlier.. let it comes when the time comes..

you didn't even have the guts to tell me what you wanted me to do, because you knew i'm going to have my hands full, which you couldn't help..so you let me decide and manage them all my own way.. thank you for believing in me, but i think you have forgotten the most important part.. that ME you believed in was ME who had you! ME who had your hug when she's down, who knew regardless what happened, you would be there for her..you forgot that ME who has to do all that now is someone different.. it's ME who no longer has you!

you also didn't even dare to tell me your wish because you know you wish for something that you yourself doubt i can fulfill.. but i know you too well... you just have one wish and you knew i knew.. you wish for me to be happy.. without you..

but being the brilliant you and the ever so wonderful soulmate you always were.. you knew u didn't need to tell me what to do.. you didn't have to tell me your wishes.. instead, you left me something that's even more precious.. you left me your doa.. you pray Allah swt bless me always, you pray Allah swt grant me with whatever is best for me... thank you sayang.. and being the kind self that you were, i know Allah swt will definitely answer your prayers.. or perhaps they have already been answered...