sick again! started off with a very strained eyes the whole day of Friday. then that night, i went to putrajaya mosque to perform terawih. i should have known it was not a good idea to brave through the drizzle. trying to act like a superwoman, i forced myself to read 6 journals and wrote some summaries on them. by then i could already feel my nose was burning and swallowing the saliva was kind of torturing. but.. the 'doctor' part of me convinced myself that it's just due to lack of sleep and slight changes in the sleeping pattern during this Ramadhan. as a payback, i slept till 9.30am on Saturday and on Sunday, if not because I wanted to visit abg that morning, i would not have woken up at 9am! and still refused to listen to my body, i stopped by at Mines on my way back to buy some stuff and went out again with Erina and mak after Zuhur. I came home with an extremely 'layu' body and only by this time it crossed my mind that i might have overdone it. After Asar, I slept all the way sampai berbuka!
i'm still feeling so tired but i just couldn't close my eyes. i slept after isyak just now, terbangun around 11pm tadi now takleh tido dah. i am so missing him. there's something bothering me now. something related to my decision i've made few months back. keep asking myself, when we face some obstacles while doing something, how do we know if that's just a challenge (as a friend said, bukan senang nak senang..) or it's actually a sign that Allah swt is telling us to reconsider our decision, our moves?? hmm.. i know the best is to ask Allah swt.. i should already know that very well..
thank you friends for sharing your thoughts.. i truly appreciate it.. i hope i'll get better really soon. i'm sick of being sick and i hate to find myself trapped in the maze of emotions again. and i hate feeling devastated because my wish is not fulfilled when i already knew i wish for the impossible...yup, i have many of them!
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