i am so missing you

I watched SEPI at Alamanda GSC some time back. Yeah, the third malay movie I actually watched on cinema after Sepet and PGL. The impact it had on me was a bit disappointing. I expect, even if it didn't succeed to make me cry (coz so far, I NEVER cry bila tengok movie/drama dan yang seangkatan dengannya), at least it would give me a little, if not much, rasa sedih ke, sebak ke..bergenang air mata ke kan.. unfortunately, it failed to even steal my focus! or maybe, that's the first big failure.. it couldn't make me put my mind into the story, and because of that the rest of the story seemed empty to me. perhaps the "SEPI" that the movie was trying to potray was not that "SEPI" after all. Personally, i think the movie lacked of "feeling"..rather than putting effort on describing the feeling of "SEPI" itself, i think it concentrated more on what a person yg tgh sepi could do - fall in love with the wrong person, don't feel guilty for ruining some other people's happiness for the sake of their own, got too carried away sampai boleh nampak org yg dah takde (even though i talk to him all the time, no, I don't see him beside me pegi office.. well,I wish..) or maybe, there's no possible way it can be described on screen.. it's just a lifetime secret between the person experiencing it with Allah swt... yeah, maybe... but i kinda like the way my sis lilinbiru described it (sorry, opened to invited readers only.hehe).. sis, sorry I quote your lines here.. i thought the director should have read it and add it to the movie.. voiceover ke apa ke kan...hehe.. here goes..

"sepi is just not about losing my mind because of losing someone.
it's about losing EVERYTHING because of losing that someone.
sepi is about missing someone so much,
and not being able to redeem that someone.
sepi is about trying to forget, the one that u dont want to forget.
sepi is about running away from memories, not just by running
but by keeping away everything about the memories.
sepi is about not being able to sleep, knowing the fact that you're sleeping alone.
sepi is about not being able to talk about your loneliness,
and yet trying to talk about everything else.
sepi is about not having a companion, yet u have everybody in this world around you.

can u imagine how that feels? too sepi to live, yet i'm looking for life."

why am i talking about this SEPI movie tonight? because for the past few days, i keep on listening to Yuni Shara's SEPI from the OST and i just couldn't find the strength to hold back the tears..

Sepi hati terjadi lagi
Mungkin sampai mati aku sepi
Biar senyum hadir di hariku
namun ini hanya ada di bibir
di bibir saja

Aku ini yang bisa mengerti
walaupun yang lain mau mengerti
Namun berat beban hidupku
biarkan saja
Biar saja hanya ku yang tahu

Sejarah cinta dan hidupku
penuh duri dan banyak ranjau
Butuh kesabaran yang penuh
untuk tetap ku berdiri

Oh.. ada saatnya ku bicara
bila hatiku telah bulat
Sepanjang ku bisa atasi semua
aku tetap diam

Woo.. sejarah cinta dan hidupku
penuh duri dan banyak ranjau
butuh kesabaran yang penuh
untuk tetap ku berdiri

Oh.. ada saatnya ku bicara
bila hatiku telah bulat
Sepanjang ku bisa atasi semua
aku tetap diam