beyond our limited mind

abg's family used to stay in taiping for few years before they moved to KL. so taiping was one of the places very dear to him. he's very proud of it, though i didn't find taiping very amusing :-) kuey tiaw doli, zoo taiping, tmn tasik , K.E were among the top spots he always mentioned..

the last time i was in taiping was during erina's first raya, back in November 2006.. the purpose we went there was to visit his pakngah and makngah and family who celebrated their first ever raya without arwah elin.. abang took this chance to visit tok ina, a very nice lady who took care of one of abg's best buddies, bob since he was small. to abg, tok ina was like his own tok, as he used to spend so much time at her house last time..we then went to visit uncle ikram, soft-spoken guy with brilliant words..

my friends and I were in taiping today to attend my x-housemate's wedding. congratulations emms!her house is located in the same area where abg's family used to stay, quite close to his pakngah's house. we drove along the same route.. the familiar feelings broke my heart.. well, to my eyes, taiping today was still the same taiping back then..except i definitely prefer the air in nov 2006, the air that he and I breathed in.. we passed by KE and instead of the usual repetitive story of his school days there... this time... "KE.. ni sekolah ali..." was all i could utter... i kept telling myself, no..i'm not gonna cry.. so quickly i told my friends.. "ok dah..dah.. kang ade yg banjir kat sini.." i hope i didn't make them feel uneasy..

in the car, i kept on thinking..

- when we were in taiping last time, it was the first raya without arwah elin who succumbed to SLE at 25, just a week after Ramadhan started .. who would have thought it's gonna be abang last raya..

- it was also tok ina's last raya.. tok ina passed away just a few weeks before abg was admitted.. i remember how excited she was to see Erina.. she was not well and she told us "dpt jugak jumpa anak rafiz.. tok ina ni dah tak sihat.. entah bila lagi dpt jumpa.."

- i used to say "ye la.. everytime citer sama je" whenever he started his story on his school days.. how he would spend his time jogging at tmn tasik with his friends..how he loved kuey tiaw doli which very2 sedap and tiada bandingannya.. and today, i just wish he's there beside me telling me all those stories again.......

- today kitorang naik sue's jazz and her bf drive while me and sid sat at the back.. in nov 2006, we were in jazz.. me sat at the back.. but it was erina who sat beside me, and it was him who i saw at the driver's seat..

- uncle Ikram's magical words of advice helped him to regain his strength after the breaking news.. thank you uncle for coming down to KL just to visit him at the hospital..

"uncle Ikram ckp, abang kena redha.. ni semua kehendak Allah swt.. abg sayang nani, sayang erina, sayang my family.. tp cinta yang sejati adalah cinta pada Allah swt.. "


............we are only human.. what's gonna happen in future is just beyond our comprehension.. cherish every moment we have today, remember to be grateful and thankful to Allah swt today and always, regardless of what Allah swt decides for us in future.............

al-fatihah buat abang sayang, arwah Rafizul Elmi Zulkefli, arwah Elin and arwah Tok Ina.. and semua muslimin dan muslimat yang telah meninggal dunia.. semoga Allah swt tempatkan kalian di kalangan kekasih-kekasih-Nya.. amin...

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i'll visit you tomorrow ok..insya Allah..