the time will come

i really shouldn't be blogging now. still in the process to recover from fever and flu..but just feel i need to note this down..

while driving back after fetching erina from daycare last friday (yeah, it took me some time to absorb this), suddenly she suprised me.. (she's only 2 yrs and 4mths..tp dia tak pelat...)

erina : "mummy, daddy mana??"
me : "hmmm.."
erina : "daddy kat syurga ye?"
me : "haa?? "
erina : "iye.. daddy kat syurga..."

ok.. where did she get that? i don't see that coming.. must be the aunties kat daycare yg ajar dia i think..

but another surprise was.. i was smiling.. it touched my heart but it definitely didn't break it.. i'm not saying i'm happy.. but i guess i've been waiting for this time to come.. i'm always so anxious to know how i'm gonna deal with this... and my first reaction was... i smiled... and i couldn't believe what i heard.. though i've always wanted to be the first person who tell her about her daddy...

well, if betul la the aunties yg ajar (which i 100% sure since they were the only ppl with her since i left her that morning.. unless her daddy came in her dream or something..heh) i should thank them... sbb at least they tell her something good kan for a start... rather than "daddy sakit" (yup, erina said that once..and..i wonder where she picked that up...hhhhmmmmmmmm???????) .. most of all, i thank Allah swt.. for giving me time to prepare and equip myself before He let me confront this little conversation... slowly, i believe erina will learn the meaning of all these..

as for me.. frankly, i have never said a thing about her daddy to erina... never... all i dare to say is "daddy sayang erina tau..".. every night..itu pun after erina dah tido...