need a guide

i'm not sure how should i face these coming days. is there a kind of a guide that outline the to-do, not-to-do, to-think, not-to-think.. things just don't seem right. trying to act normal, i drove to office, on my notebook, chat with jun about new 'hutang' and taxes (damn!) but suddenly it strikes me.. why am i acting this way..am i not supposed to be sad and down..then suddenly all the tears started making their way..rolling down my cheeks. the "video" started playing again.. all those questions started to rise..why don't i.. why should.. how can..bla..bla.. next thing i knew i was in the car, crying my heart out and talking to him (or myself?)! lucky me to be consoled by her cutie face..sayang mummy.. how lucky i am to have the chance to hear that..unlike him..
mak was surprised to see me at the door, but she dare not say anything.. again, how fortunate i am to have mak who is ever understanding! sometimes her ability to see things from my view impress me..though people say it's in every mum and it's just natural..i learned it's not always the case..or maybe, it is indeed in every mum, but not every mother is blessed to realize this ability within them, or they just don't want to..
i guess most of the time we tend to see how unfortunate we are compared to others.. if only we can pay more attention to those things we have enjoyed and be grateful of things that some people take a lifetime to get.. then perhaps we will realize Allah swt Maha Penyayang and Maha Adil..and there really shouldn't be anything to complain about..