sayonara 2008!!

new year is approaching! 2009! looking back.. the cliche is there for a reason.. coz it's true.. TIME DOES FLY FAST! so much to say about 2008..not sure where to begin..i guess, let's just give it a go, whatever cross my mind...

-9 January 2008 - erina celebrated her 2nd birthday, the first without daddy.

-26 March 2008 - marked one year without him physically by my side. alhamdulillah, i am still breathing. semoga Allah swt cucuri rahmat ke atas roh abang.. amin..

-i decided to move out from SA house and rent an apartment in SK. though it might not be a brilliant move to some, i couldn't thank Allah swt more for showing me that escape route if not a way out..

-alhamdulillah, Allah swt has opened the door to enable mak to perform her umrah.

-new skill acquired - i can now swim! :-)

-happy 29th birthday me! i'm older than you now honey!

-decided to go back to school.. to syam and krol, am not sure if i should thank you or "hate" you.. but i do look forward for the outcome.. so perhaps, it should be a THANK YOU!

-BALI trip deserves a dedicated point :-) amazing! such a relaxing gateaway! fun! fun! fun! nice place, great company.. couldn't ask for more!!

-i lost my beloved handphone after I came back from bali :(

- while i struggle to find my way in life again, more often than not, i keep on doing things without putting considerable amount of effort to weigh options i have. i don't even reason my actions sometimes.. i just do it! don't think of the consequences.. many and many of them are totally emotional. i may have hurt people's feelings, i disappoint people, i annoy people.. if i ever did that to you, please and please forgive me..

- i am continuously blessed with the presence of mak abah and family, without whose support i may be a little more fragile than i already am.. and friends have continuously offering help and advice, or just spare their ears for me..

-darling erina.. alhamdulillah, she's growing up well!! she cheers up my day! she makes me smile, cry, laugh and SCREEEAAAMMMM!!!! very2 very2 mulut bechok!! i thank God every single day for ERINA! mummy sayang erina banyak jugak!

-again, i am not being denial, i think i already REDHA Allah swt has taken him back away from me. but i just miss him so very very much and somehow i think it's becoming more intense that sometimes, saying his name can make me cry. i love you sayang always and forever..


well, to me, 2008 is a year for me to start realizing that life, no matter how much i wish it ends soonest possible, IT WON'T until Allah swt says it's time. The WHEN will remain unknown until the clock is pointing to the right moment. while i still have the chance, change what i can change, redha with what i can't and be thankful and grateful with what i've been given. of course, the theory sounds a lot easier than the practical. i know i need to open my eyes wider, open my heart, open my mind and see that FUTURE in actual fact is VAGUE for everyone but Allah swt.. HAPPY is very subjective.. and SADNESS is a good lesson to learn to APPRECIATE.. while LOVE remains at heart..