February 13th, 2007

was doing some clean up of my "My Document" and I found this:

My heart stopped for a while when I heard it. I waited patiently for him at home. As I opened the door, he hugged me. He looked so calm, but only God knows the fear he felt inside. We drove to his parents'.That 5 minutes drive felt so far. The news was like a massive bomb! The old man tried to act calm, but his worry were written all over his face.. tears in that old lady's eyes.. Shocked, sad, disbelief, denial..all were now mixed up..and he sat there beside me and started crying..without a word..i think there would never be a correct word/phrase to describe what he felt inside..All I can say was "ye sayang, sabar ye"..wish I had better words to say..but at that moments, my mind just couldn't think properly as I tried to calm my ownself down and gather all the strength I have in me..I kept on thinking "Is this for real??"..that night before I closed my eyes I prayed to Allah swt for forgiveness and begged Him for something more pleasant.. and some good news tomorrow.. that this is all a mistake..but, if this is really something He already planned for him and us, then who I am to say No..but please, please and please God give him and us the strength and patience to go through it with 'redha'..please make us strong and we promise we will keep on fighting!!but,silently deep inside me, my heart was crying as our certain future now becomes uncertain..how i wish to wake up tomorrow and realize this was just a dream..but now I know this is no dream..this is for real..of all people, he was chosen for this challenge..he must be very special..and I'm so honored to have him in my life..