husnul-khatimah

last night i spent my time "google-ing" on 'husnul-khatimah'.How ignorant i've been all these while. Btw, there's one site really caught my attention: http://www.ypkdt.org.my/ypkdt/content.php?page=khusnul.htm

then I started to recall everything.. sometimes i think, despite all the 'musibah' that I have to go through now, I was quite lucky in some other ways..i've got the chance to take care of him during his illness and spend my 24x7 with him all alone and nothing else to do! no traffic jams, no work, no datelines, no emails to reply..nothing.. just totally plain 24x7 together..i also got the chance to do things for him that I sometimes didn't do during other time..i've got the chance to ask for his forgiveness..and to hear he said that he'd pray that I will be blessed by Allah swt..i got the chance to hear he said that he loves me dunia dan akhirat..most of all, i've got the chance to be beside him, accompany him, recite yassin for him and witness his last moments..

Syukur kepada Allah swt for giving me chance to be a part of him and him, a part of me..even for a while..and of course for Allah swt precious gift.. little daughter of ours..the love that we shared..

but why, this heart of mine still feel so..lost..i miss him so very much..all the time..

Ya Allah..ampunkan hamba-Mu ini..aku redha dengan Qada' dan Qadar-Mu..bukan niat-ku menolak ketentuan-Mu..aku hamba-Mu yang lemah dan sesungguhnya aku yakin hanya Kau sahaja yang mengerti apa yang aku lalui ini.. Berikanlah aku petunjuk dan hidayah-Mu agar aku dapat menempuh dugaan-Mu yang amat berat ini dengan tenang dan sabar..Amin..