today 5 weeks ago..

i was calm..very calm..not sure what was actually playing in my head, my mind, my heart.I thank Allah swt for the strength He gave me at that time..I think at that time I didn't allow myself to think ahead..not even a second ahead..i just faced it as it came..otherwise i would hv lost my mind and missed it all.. missed everything that would not turn back..ever again..

but that was 5 weeks ago..now, i feel like a totally different person..i'm so lost..and this blog..not sure myself what the hell this is about..what am i trying to do?i guess just find a place to let out what i have inside..