erina is my heart beat. i am forever thankful to my parents. family is a bless. i look forward to graduate but so malas and lost nak buat thesis. i like some part of my job and wish i can discard all the other parts.. or even better if i don't have to work yet my bank account is "refilled" each month. i enjoy my friends companion. swimming is a good stress release. i don't want to appear too skinny but "you gain weight" gives me a shiver. nowadays i don't reason my actions. guess am still self searching. selfishness, decision making, leadership are consistently in my syllabus. leading family of 2 is already taking up all my energy. i forgave, i may hv forgotten but it may take me a lifetime to accept you back. i like u but there's always doubt. i miss having that someone who take care of me, spoil me, spare his ears for my craps, who thinks all my questions matter to him, who think my life is as important as his. i miss being that someone who makes his day, someone he will look for to share all the good and not so good news or simply his normal day, his own craps. i miss being that someone he trust so much that sharing with me is a blessed, instead of a responsibility. i miss being that someone so important to his life, someone to whom he refers to for opinion, whom he always looks forward to spend his time with, whom he still head over heels with after so many years. i miss being his baby, be his pillar of strength, his reasons and his dreams. i miss the feeling that i belong to him, i'm his. i miss pampering him, caring for him, smiling at him, talking to him. i miss being myself for him. i miss to hear "you mean everything to me". i miss being that someone he loves so very much for everything i am. i miss having someone who adores me so much, who think having me around is a gift and he is so lucky, so blessed.. who thinks my flaws and all the minus points are nothing compared to what i mean to his life.. and i miss having that someone i love so very much, i care so much, someone i want to spend every moment of my life with.
i am thankful and grateful for everything i have now.. i look forward to the future.. i know i need to move on.. I AM moving on.. but letting go the pass kills me.. it's suicidal! how can i let it be a history.. i want to keep them all with me all the time..through every second, every sorrow, every happiness.. now and forever.. as long as i live.. i miss him.. i'm sorry if it's not acceptable.. he is not just part of me.. he is ME.. he's in my blood..........
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my dear frenn,
droppin by ur blogsite after chit-chatting thru YM yesterday..u sounded bit of "depressed" i must say.Anyway,yeah..nobody will understand what u have gone thru..but one thing for sure ..it's YOU and only YOU who can decide the next steps/actions to take to move on regardless how good or bad it will be..wish u best of luck,stay stronger and most importanty:JB town is always welcoming u and Erina.By the way,talking about Erina,dia dah besar lah!Dah jadi anak dara..ehehe..
dear, it IS acceptable... to have him in your blood, in the air that you breathe...
I feel your pain (tho' I'm so sorry I cannot lessen it)...
I don't know what else to say, but to make du'a for you and Al-Fatihah to your beloved.
You take care!!
p/s: it's our 11th wedding anniversary today
hi jeni, thanks dear. i know i should really plan a trip to JB to meet up with you one day! let's pray the day will come soon :-)
erina.. yeah.. nowadays, when i said she's only 2yrs++ ppl give me one surprise look as in "no, she should be older!!" i wonder what give them that impression.. she looks older than her age??? or is she too smart for a 2yr old ;-)
sis MHB, i do think it is acceptable as well. but some ppl may not think so.. and it makes me sad...
dik. i feel the same pain. i bleed the same hurt.
i think i'm moving on..but @ a very slow pace? siput sedut ke aku?
if you siput sedut, what am i then??
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