guys..

i don't have many guys friends.anti-sosial? maybe.. i don't know, memang dr dulu2 lagi i'm not that friendly with them i think (hubby would agree on this i'm sure..hehe..). guys friends i have now are my classmate masa uni or someone i work with at work or my husband's friends.. and one or two i know masa sekolah rendah.. what i'm trying to say is, i don't simply go out with them though they sit next to me in the office. or i don't consider them as a friend just because they are my friend's friends. i don't bother what they think of me.. sombong ke, kerek ke, nerd ke or whatever! to add them in my friends list pun dah very selective, what more to go out with them kan..my selection criterias??? hmm.. susah nak ckp.. but i believe in chemistry.. so some people just don't make me feel comfortable..at all! :-)
so i met this one guy during a 3-day training in KL last 2 months i think. through out the 3 days we duduk at the same table during lunch together with few others la kan. we chat but unfortunately he fell into the group of people-who-never-make-me-feel-comfortable..sebabnya.. hmm.. biarla rahsia..hehehe.. after the training, he IM me.. so ok la.. we chat on IM.. it was an OK chat at first until he started asking to go out for lunch and even dinner with me.. maybe he just wanted to be friends.. so tak salah kan friend kluar for lunch with friends..problem is, i'm not sure if i actually consider him as a friend..maybe i'm such a bad girl la kan..i think i've already set my mind "ok he'll just be my IM friend".. so i gave him 1001 reasons.. in a polite way of course.. but i think he didn't get it.. i don't know if it's a good idea but after some time i decided to tell him the truth.. that i'll never go out with him, even as friends as he claimed..and i gave him my reasons.. i don't know how he took it.. i didn't hear from him for few weeks after that..which made me feel relief..but just last week, he IM me again.."bila nak kluar lunch?" and i think memang wrong timing la.. i was not in a good mood..so i replied "never"... mcm rude tak? yeah.. i think i was rude.. but then, i'm not sure if i care.. sbb i think i've tried to put it in a very nice way before not to hurt his feelings.. but did he ever think about me? boleh tak at this moment i only want to think about my feelings? i feel kind of bad for being rude..but i have no regret for saying no. well, i think i would want someone to be blunt and tell me upfront camtuh.. maybe it'll hurt la.. but then takde la prolong kan..isn't it easier mcm tuh?