finding my way

when some bad thing happen to us, we always wonder why.. tp very seldom kita nak wonder why when it's something that we like.. or we really want.. we got to marry someone we love.. we managed to get good job.. we managed to buy our dream car.. we wear expensive clothes.. most of the time, we said "alhamdulillah".. we say "thank God".. but how many of us actually think WHY we have all that chances? we say.. "ye.. rezeki kita..." but then, pernah tak kita terfikir that, it may not only be "rezeki kita".. i read an article some time this week.. it's about rezeki yang Allah swt beri.. the article focus more on orang kaya sbb lebih jelas kot org kaya rezeki lebih.. the argument is about ownership of that kekayaan.. betul ke bila Allah swt beri rezeki pada kita, ianya adalah utk kita... the article says, Allah swt beri rezeki yang lebih kepada org kaya sebagai wakil Allah swt utk membahagikan kekayaan tu kepada hamba Allah swt yg lain.. yg plg clear here, orang kaya tu kena keluar kan zakat.. sbg salah satu cara kita nak share rezeki kita tu with org lain.. sedekah is another way.. i was thinking.. can we/they do more?? hemh.. guess having the chance to spend some time on my own past few days gave me a lot of time to think.. think about lots of things.. how our mere life are so vulnerable.. and what have we done to prepare for the afterlife?? akhirat.. the eternal.. what if we die tomorrow..do we get to see the beautiful or handsome angles come to take us to see Allah swt.. are they going to be nice to us? or will we only see the angry faces who will treat us bad because we've never been so nice to Allah swt? what can we do at that time???nothing.. we have been gifted with happy family and great friends.. we have a big house.. all our wishes are fulfilled without much effort.. we say "Alhamdulillah"..but is that enough? some people diduga dengan kesusahan and kesedihan dan kemiskinan.. memang fitrah manusia, dia akan ingat Allah swt bila dia susah..through the hard way, I guess the 'message' yg Allah swt nak sampaikan to them lagi berkesan kot.. imagine when Allah swt gives us all one could ever wish.. all the kesenangan... pegi mana2 ade driver.. ckp je nak beli apa, semua dapat.. belajar ade org sponsor.. etc.. yg kita nampak is "Alhamdulillah..rezeki kita Allah swt bagi.." itu pun kalau kita nampak.. but then pernah tak beside saying "Alhamdulillah", we actually take some time to actually think back why it happened to us, just like the way we will think when bad things happen to us. pernah tak kita terfikir, beside "rezeki kita", what we get, we own or we have actually mean beyond that.. perhaps it's a way Allah swt nak uji kita.. do we really get the "actual message"? well, you might think i'm saying this now sebab what had happened to me.. well,ya indeed... i keep on thinking.. now after He took away the most dear to my heart, baru la nak terfikir why this happened.. not to argue Qada' dan Qadar but to understand it more.. and i try to compare myself now and before.. i would consider myself quite lucky.. despite my family background, i got to study in one of the best schools in the country, graduated with quite flying colors (despite my habit of MIA for classes most of the time), got a good job, married to my dream guy(love him with all my heart!), beautiful daughter (precious!!)..but those days, how much time I have spent to think WHY Allah swt gave me all those..and important thing is how much i have done in return?? what's the actual definition of "bersyukur"? cukup ke sekadar "Alhamdulillah".. will save that for some other post.. some other time, kalau panjang umur.. insya Allah..